Draco's Secret
by Luke 923 HA
Summary: There is only one thing Draco Malfoy hid from his father. Head Canon. Canon compliant. One shot.


**A\N: This is a Dramione one shot I wrote when I was 14**

I liked her the moment I met her. When I told Crabbe and Goyle about this, they had a great laugh. That's when I found out what she was, and I knew father would disown me if I turned out to be a blood traitor. So, I denied my feelings for her. Then, she started to hang out with Potter and Weasley. I knew I didn't stand a chance, not unless a miracle happened.

When I first called her a Mudblood, I was honestly joking, but Weasley thought differently. Before I could even laugh about it, he tried to hex me, and it backfired, so when I laughed. It sounded like I was laughing at him. When I saw a tear in her eye, I died inside. I tried to apologize and explain what was going on, but they were already taking ginger down to Hagrid's to get 'fixed.'

My two friends patted me on the back, "Finally, you got rid of that filth. Good for you, mate." After that incident, I called her Mudblood every time I saw her. Around Christmas, when Potter and Weasley came into the common room disguised as Crabbe and Goyle, I was determined to make sure Crabbe and Goyle never again brought up the fact that I had a crush on rubbish.I did what I thought I needed to do to get rid of their stupid suspicions. I told them I hoped Granger was the mudblood that was going to die; I told them a lie.

When I found out she had gotten petrified, and how close the beast had came to killing the only girl I had ever really loved, I was distraught. When no one was in the hospital wing, I'd sneak in there and visit her. I poured my heart out, telling her how I'd really felt about her. I hoped she could hear me like some people in Muggle comas could, but when she snapped out of it, I'd realized she hadn't heard or remembered a word I spoke to her. You have no idea how that felt. I couldn't just come out and tell her. She would think I was lying. Merlin, how I wished she knew how I felt about every time I got close to her, she took my breath away, and my heart sped to the moon around her. But no, she thought I was the bad guy. I was the one with the death eater parents. Do you think I enjoyed that? No, I have no power over who my parents are and what standard I am expected to live up to.

Third year, I hatched up this brilliant plan to finally win her over, despite how my parents felt about her kind. I would get hurt in the oaf Hagrid's class, and she would feel sorry for me, forgive me. When my father heard about my 'accident ,' he was furious, and he ordered the Hippogriff to be executed. Okay, it wasn't one of my more brilliant schemes. She ended up hating me so much, she hauled off and slapped me. She can slap, alright. It was about as bad as being stupified.

Fourth year, she went out with that Krum bloke. I was so overcome with jealousy. I hated himfrom then on, and whenever he tried to start a conversation with me, I just ignored him. He asked me what was wrong, so I stupidly yelled, "YOUR FACE!" right in the middle of dinner one day after the first task. Everyone stared and avoided me for most of the week afterwards. I really didn't want to hit her with that tooth enlargement jinx at the beginning of the year, but jealousy can do horrible things to a person, and jealousy got the better of me. I'm not perfect.

When Diggory was murdered, and yes, there was no doubt in my mind that he was murdered. No matter how much I hated Potter, I knew he wasn't lying. No matter what I would say about the 'nonsense,' I think I called it. My father and friends forced me to join the dumb inquisitorial squad against my wishes. I didn't want to stop Potter from training to bring Tom down. I wanted Tom to just go away. If it wasn't for Voldemort's existence, I might have had a shot with her. That is all I have ever wanted, a chance to prove myself worthy of her, but that chance never came, not even when my parents were forced into making me become a death eater. I was forever marked with evil and forced into a mission that I didn't want. They wanted me to kill one of her heroes. How could I do that to her? They threatened me with my life. When I needed her most, she wasn't there, and it was all my fault. Severus saved me; he killed Dumbledore because he'd made a Unbreakable Vow to my mom, which I discretely told him not to do.

They made me run away with the death eaters, and I saw her shake her head at me. She was disappointed in me. I had made her cry again. I was a total failure. That was probably right behind the worst day of my life.

I swore I'd redeem myself if I'd ever got the chance. That chance came at my manor when the Golden Trio ended up at my doorstep, but Aunt Bella needed me to identify them. I told her that I couldn't be sure. They were astounded. They knew I knew who they were. I just scoffed, turned around, and rolled my eyes to hide the pain.

And when she married Ronald Weasley, my heart shattered. I died inside. July 7th 2002 was the worst day of my life.

My father will never hear about this.

**Luke923HA**


End file.
